It`s already November, just few days more it`s christmas time na… Every Saturday before x mas, we`re having christmas party with Beki`s… I can`t wait to be there and laugh the whole day!!!
haaayyy, mixed emotions… happy, sad, lonely, contented, incomplete… But the most important thing is, im still here alive and kicking and still facing the obstacles and God still showering me with His blessings…
I`m earning a lot of money from my work, have my regular, kinda date with a nice guy, we`re having a happy family with my beautiful pamangkin ( i`m spoiling her, hehehe, i even bought a gown for her bday last oct. 28) still having fun with my friends, still gaining friends ( but want to loose weight, hhahaha) and a lot of plan for my future…
Maybe God still planning for my next trip and relationship, so dito lang ako, relax relax… I`m willing to wait!
hmmm, i can feel the spirit of x mas
How to be a Drama Queen?
A friend of mine told me that I`m a drama queen… I accepted the title because for me being a drama queen is like expressing my true feelings and being real…
Is it bad to be real? I`m not ashamed of it coz that`s my true heart and self…
that`s me!!!
Others find me strong,.. but being a drama queen doesn`t mean that i`m a weak person, i`m strong in my own way, i`m so strong that i can handle my feelings well now…
I`m proud of it…
the maze!
I`m not lost, i just don`t know why i`m still taking the same way, i mean, the same familiar road that i`ve been…
i told myself to be strong and just enjoy life, attentions and treasures i have but, i`m wondering why i can`t get out of here, i can`t find the way out…
it`s like doing and having the same things all over again; having someone, getting so into him, then they will leave me again hanging…
what`s wrong with me, am I that bad? am I disrespectful, why they can`t respect me?
They say, soon you will find the right man for you, but how many times do I have to feel this and to encounter such type of guy before i meet the right one?
I`m trying to get everything as a challenge, as my way to future, but I still didn`t get, I don`t know the sense of it…
So, i`m still stacked in this maze called Love!
hate will keep it alive
Sometimes you will realize that you’re OK, suddenly some news will end the contentment…
I don’t want to cry anymore, but it keeps my tears falling, I said, one day soon he will feel the way that I feel, and I’m fine with that since I’m happy with my job now, but I can’t still find the peace that I need,…
hhhhrrrrrrr, I don’t love him anymore I know that, But I still have a little piece of anger inside me that transform into monster every now and then,…
I don’t know how to feel anymore, how to kill it, all I know is, I want to end this all…
But 1 day, I know everything will end with a smile…
I wish it’s soon…
how to do it?
I used to relate myself to a song "everybody`s changing",
‘So little time Try to understand that I’m Trying to make a move to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody’s changing And I don’t feel the same’
so true, coz i really don`t feel like changing, until a friend of mine, told me to stop and love myself, if i want to be happy…
Honestly, I don’t know how to start it, but I have to, it’s exactly a year since that feeling captured me… I will never ever forget that, but I think that’s the only way to move on and start, I have to forget every single thing, It seems like, I’m the only person who can’t move on,..
I always give myself an excuse and consideration that it’s hard to go on and forget, but it’s not, it’s just that I don’t want to…
I know I’m acting like a fool every time I remember what happened and still get affected by him…
So much of him, I have to concentrate to myself,.. I’m saying this and I have to do it, I have to it, I have to do it…
I don’t know how, but I have to…
I need to concentrate to my work, friends and self…
I have to love myself from now on, not anyone else, not him…
am I?… fuck, it can`t be!!!
When you are together with that special
someone,you pretend to ignore that person. But
when that special someone is not around, you
might look around to find them. At that moment,
you are in love.
Although there is someone else who always makes
you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only
to that special someone. Then, you are in love.
Although that special someone was supposed to
have called you long back, to let you know of
their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are
desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.
If you are much more excited for one short e-
mail from that special someone than other many
long e-mails, you are in love.
When you find yourself as one who cannot erase
all the messages in your answering machine
because of one message from that special someone,
you are in love.
When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you
would not hesitate to think of that special
someone. Then, you are in love.
You keep telling yourself, "that special someone
is just a friend", but you realize that you can
not avoid that person’s special attraction. At
that moment, you are in love.
While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind, then u are in love with
that person.
you don`t have to sip it
(it will comes out naturally)
I don’t know what is happening again…
A reincarnation of him is showing in one person that I met recently,
And it was the start, of my blood that will come out from the fresh wound of my flesh…
waaahhh, I don’t like the idea of feeling the love to someone because of him, still about him, because I can see the personality of him to others…
When will I be over him? And the fact that seeing him gives me this flying feathers feeling in my chest, I’m starting to be frightened that it will start to weaken me again, and history will repeat everything in my life…
And here I` am again, fighting all over again… the usual thing that I’ve been doing all my life, fighting for something that’s not worth to fight for… the things that I know will only waste my time, but still have the eagerness to waste it,..
The only thing I know that won’t give me the reason to do, but I’m still willing to do…
The things that are full of foolishness but make me want to be a fool…
I’m tired of looking for the answer and striving for the happiness, but the numbness helps me a lot…
THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME HANGING
(When no one understands you)
The only thing that keeps me hanging in this kind of life is the hope that one day all of this problem will leave me and will give me lessons that will let me be courageous.
I don’t know why everything to me seems like an obstacle that I have to pass,
That for every wrong move that I will do will kill me fast.
And everything is also a risk that I have to take,
You have to swallow your pride on the way.
Sometimes, I think of taking the faster way of ending this miserable life that I have.
But God keep on telling me that you have to cling on, for the one who’s experiencing battles is the blessed one.
I don’t know how strong I am now, all I know is I’m still here trying to fight and doing the best that I can to be alive, coz the moment that I loose my grip, everyone will weep… I hope so!!!
seems unfair, but that`s how it goes
It all happens when you feel the relief and feathers in you chest when he smile, talk and look.
It follows by meaningful things; every move he makes it seems like he’s doing that for you, every word he says it sounds like he wants you to hear him, and every look at you is like he’s saying something to you. Sometimes or most of the time, you just thought!
Friends in Love, Friend of Mine or Love me friend… awww, high school issues… But it’s not just a high school thing, even in our age it’s still happening, because we misunderstood the kindness and care of a friend… And you will realize it’s just a friendship, what will happen? You will break the friendship… because you can’t be best friend with someone that you have feelings for. You’re taking advantage of him, that’s it!
Another is, he courted you, give everything to you… At first you don’t like him, you’re not serious, you’re just playing and you just want to try. Until, you fall so deeply in love that sometimes you can’t resist when he kiss you, especially in forehead, haaaay the most powerful kiss for me, and everything looks perfect when you’re together. You don’t want to end the day and it feels like you want to marry him so he can’t get away. Until, you found out that he has a lot of girl, he’s in love with another or he’s gone! Gone, like you don’t know the reason why, he left you hanging!
That’s the enigma of Love, it will put you in their trap of craziness until you loose your mind and even come to a point of pointless suicidal, believe me, it happens. I tried, but I just can’t…
Who’s the looser? We think that they are fool for letting us go, but inside of our heart we are a looser also, why? Because we are still under their spell, we still want to be with them in spite of everything…
Are they thinking the same way like us? Are they longing for us and for our love? Maybe no, Coz if they do they will come back to us crawling… we’re just hoping that they still do love us!!!
It’s unfair but we have to face the unfair reality that sometimes and most of the time it’s one sided love!!! That`s Life!
this is what luck means
hahaha, such a happy day!!! I’m already in the People Support… I will start immediately on Monday…
Another one:
On my way home, I only got P40 in my pocket and I didn’t know where the terminal in Makati is, and I had no power to walk anymore because my shoes was killing me… so I tried to go to Crossing then there I will ride a jeepney, but fuck there’s no jeepney, fx taxi was the only choice, I have no money left, until I saw Raymond, I didn’t expect but he did pay for our fare, wow!!! I still have money for tryke, I need that coz I can’t walk anymore…
What a lucky day for me!!! Thank God!!!
I’m already employed!!!
